Fleeting Moments

Sunsets, storm clouds, the lacy pattern of water droplets shimmering in the sunlight – these are the fleeting images from the last 24 hours that are forever burned into my memory. Oh, how I wish I had a camera at the ready to capture them forever! But alas, I did not. And so I must try to capture their essence with wholly inadequate words, to paint their delightful flavor on the canvas of my computer screen so that their awe-inspiring beauty can be enjoyed over and over again in life’s dark and dismal moments.

Yesterday’s sunset danced atop the trees with a beauty such as I’ve never witnessed before. The setting sun was enormous – seemingly twice as big as it should have been – with a deep tangerine hue. It teased my eyes with exquisite grace as it quickly slipped below the treeline, almost as if it were playing a game of hide and seek with me as I drove towards it. I raced around turn after turn, hoping to get past the treeline in time to see it again, and I did! It hovered at the end of the highway, stretched fully from one side of the two-lane road to the other, dancing along the blacktop with merry abandon. I tried to catch a picture on my cell phone, but – darn! – there was a truck in between me and the undulating tangerine orb. I drove with my cell phone camera focused on the sun, waiting for the vehicle in my way to turn; but the opportunity for a clear shot never presented itself before my brilliant dancing sun slipped from view in front of my outstretched hand.

Though I missed capturing the beauty of that sunset on film, God wasn’t finished with His artistic endeavors for the day. Another bend in the road opened my view to a sky full of towering cumulus clouds, reflecting the rosy glow of the sun. Shades of blue, yellow and pink adorned the edges of the puffy clouds, moving and changing as the sun continued her gradual westward journey and the night sky crept in from the east.

With this morning’s dew settled deep on my car windows, I sleepily headed out to work. As I turned a corner and the rising sun hit my dew-covered side window, I noticed that little droplets of water had started an uphill journey across the window from the force of the passing wind. Droplet followed droplet, each taking a slightly different yet similar path, forming trails of clear glass amid the dew-covered pane. As I passed through shadows, where the sun hid behind trees, the window just appeared wet and fogged and streaked. But every now and then, as I passed a meadow where the rising sun shone brightly, the window sparkled with thousands of white light reflections of undulating furrows, with busy droplets of water etching more before my very eyes.

I can’t help but wonder how many other beautiful, God-given moments I’ve missed because I was too preoccupied with the mundane tasks of every day life to notice them.

Weeding Little Boys

My husband, Mike, and I were talking about his plans for the day and he mentioned taking our then five-year-old son, Nick, for a ride on the lawn mower. I said, “Great idea! The lawn needs mowing anyway.” He said no, it didn’t, so I couldn’t help but point out that the grass was knee high. Mike explained that you don’t mow the lawn for the first time in the spring until you’ve weeded it first to prevent the weeds from being flung far and wide. Of course, he said, you have to weed it again towards the fall when the weeds begin to return ...

Which got me to thinking. 

Our son was born with several challenges that we had been fortunate to have diagnosed early on, and he’d been receiving special education at the local public school since he was two. At that time we were preparing to take Nick out of Pre-K in the public school system and enroll him in a private school for Kindergarten because we didn’t want him influenced by some of the undesirable behavior we saw in some of the children in the local public school. In effect we were planning to “weed” the bad influences from his life early on so he could grow to his greatest potential. And so we transferred him to what we’d been told was a wonderful Christian school. 

But it wasn’t.

Within a matter of days, my sweet little boy began to change. He was in trouble at school on a daily basis, which meant he was in more trouble at home, and we had absolutely no idea why he had suddenly become a sullen, angry, mean child. Among his many challenges, he was at that point still mostly non-verbal; so we couldn’t just ask what was wrong and discuss it with him.

The bad behavior progressed exponentially until one day when I happened to linger behind for a few minutes after bringing him to school. What I observed broke my heart. Because of his disabilities, my sweet son had been singled out for ridicule and torment by the other children with the full knowledge and implied consent of the teacher who, when told what I had observed, just shrugged her shoulders, threw up her hands and smiled at me.

Stumbling Blocks

I’ve heard it said that stepping stones are stumbling blocks at rest,

And you really can climb over them when you give the task your best.

But how do you know a stumbling block has tumbled past its prime

And left a helpful stepping stone to lift you up this time?

It comes as inspiration, a sudden flash of light

Illuminating corners in the darkest black of night.

It comes as confirmation that you’re traveling the wrong path

That perhaps you’ve not partaken of the gifts the Savior hath.

It comes as balm of Gilead to a hurt and wounded soul

Promising the miracle of a life again made whole.

It comes quite unexpectedly after deep despair

And usually in answer to sincere and humble prayer.

A contrite spirit is required ‘ere the answer will appear

And that can’t be accomplished while harboring worldly fear.

But when it comes you’ll know for sure for gloom will be dispelled

Replaced with calm assurance that in His arms you’re held.

And if you can but just believe the promise that you’ve found

By following His sweet promptings, your life will turn around.

And as you once again step forward following His light

You just may come to realize how far you strayed from right.

For as we know in latter days, this estate is but a test

To see if we will give the Lord our sincere and humble best.

Not all of us will pass this test and some won’t make it home

A risk we knew before we came, that forever we might roam.

But the lessons this test brought to light will surely strenghten you

And prepare your battered spirit for another round or two.

For in the fight ‘tween dark and light, the scramble for your soul,

We musn’t long step off the path lest we fall short of our goal.

So as you use your stumbling block to step back towards His grace

Remember that a stumbling block stays not long in place.

It will move on and tumble off, then come to rest once more;

Becoming the helpful stepping stone your soul was yearning for.

– Barbara A. Holmes ©2010

Red Cadillac

I fell in love with it the first time I saw it on the lot, and one quick test drive was all it took to convince me. This 2002 shiny red Cadillac was my dream car! My hubby tried to interest me in a luxury Kia, but in my eyes there was just no comparison. It didn’t take me long to sign on the dotted line and drive that baby home.

Wrapped in its luxurious plush leather seats, my back didn’t ache like it had for the past couple of years and I quickly became accustomed to the rest of the luxuries that shiny red Cadillac afforded. One push of a button set my seat to the precise spot where I liked it, and opening the driver’s door moved the steering wheel up out of the way and slid the seat back so I didn’t bump my knees. Sporting a top-of-the-line sound system, automatic shades on the back window, heated seats, vanity mirrors for every seat, and fullly automated reclining front seats, this car seemed heaven sent. Why, with an automatic-tilting side mirror and back-up alarms, I didn’t even have to turn my head around to back up any more! Life couldn’t get any better than this.

When the air conditioning went out the day after I bought it, I began to have some doubts. There I was sweating in 90 degree weather and thinking about the Consumer Reports book I had read on used cars. I consider myself to be a savvy shopper, so of course I had looked up the 2002 Cadillac in the used car book before test driving it. I had also looked up the Kia Amanti my hubby wanted me to get. Consumer Reports gave the Kia a wonderful rating (and its 10-year warranty was a plus); but I had ignored the Consumer Reports rating on my shiny red Cadillac. You know, the one that said it had an unreliable cooling system, an unreliable electrical system, and and a host of other unreliable systems.

Ahhh, but driving it was so awesome! And comfortable. And just flat out luxurious. And so I was taken in by the promise of comfort and ease, and convinced myself that the A/C going out was not an ominous sign.