Red Cadillac

I fell in love with it the first time I saw it on the lot, and one quick test drive was all it took to convince me. This 2002 shiny red Cadillac was my dream car! My hubby tried to interest me in a luxury Kia, but in my eyes there was just no comparison. It didn’t take me long to sign on the dotted line and drive that baby home.

Wrapped in its luxurious plush leather seats, my back didn’t ache like it had for the past couple of years and I quickly became accustomed to the rest of the luxuries that shiny red Cadillac afforded. One push of a button set my seat to the precise spot where I liked it, and opening the driver’s door moved the steering wheel up out of the way and slid the seat back so I didn’t bump my knees. Sporting a top-of-the-line sound system, automatic shades on the back window, heated seats, vanity mirrors for every seat, and fullly automated reclining front seats, this car seemed heaven sent. Why, with an automatic-tilting side mirror and back-up alarms, I didn’t even have to turn my head around to back up any more! Life couldn’t get any better than this.

When the air conditioning went out the day after I bought it, I began to have some doubts. There I was sweating in 90 degree weather and thinking about the Consumer Reports book I had read on used cars. I consider myself to be a savvy shopper, so of course I had looked up the 2002 Cadillac in the used car book before test driving it. I had also looked up the Kia Amanti my hubby wanted me to get. Consumer Reports gave the Kia a wonderful rating (and its 10-year warranty was a plus); but I had ignored the Consumer Reports rating on my shiny red Cadillac. You know, the one that said it had an unreliable cooling system, an unreliable electrical system, and and a host of other unreliable systems.

Ahhh, but driving it was so awesome! And comfortable. And just flat out luxurious. And so I was taken in by the promise of comfort and ease, and convinced myself that the A/C going out was not an ominous sign.

A couple of weeks later, I put the electric passenger window down to let out the hot summer air and lo and behold, it wouldn’t come back up. The repair shop couldn’t do anything about it until the next day, so I put plastic bags over the window and hoped for the best. That afternoon a fierce storm raged for hours and my front seat got soaked; but once the $400 window repair was completed and I was back in the driver’s seat, I quickly forgot about it.

Until three weeks later, when the driver’s side window did the same thing. At $400 a pop, this window repair business was getting old real quick.

Three weeks later, my beloved Cadillac lost a sensor in the motor. Amazingly enough, that repair was – you guessed it – another $400. And though this is starting to sound repetitive and not very likely, I swear to you that three weeks later, a third window broke. Another $400 repair and another day in the shop.

By this time, my love affair with the shiny red Cadillac was about over. It had promised me luxury and ease, but it lied. Rather, it was was the proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing. Without fail, every three weeks or so something else broke (amazingly enough, just like Consumer Reports said it would) and my bank account took another $400 hit. I swore that if anything else went, so would that darned car.

I didn’t have to wait long. Just about three weeks later, the fan motor went on the air conditioning. The only difference between this repair and the others was the cost:  it would be $1,000 to repair the fan motor. My love affair with my shiny red Cadillac had come to an end.

All the warning signs were there; I had just ignored them. I ignored the Consumer Reports recommendation. I ignored the first couple of breakdowns. I kept hoping the car would live up to its promises of comfort and ease.

But it didn’t. 

I can’t help but wonder if America has made the same mistake. Giddy with the thought of a life of comfort and ease on the government dole, have we sold our children’s birthrights for a shiny red Cadillac?

All the warning signs are there. 

He’s told us that he’s going to raise taxes on the “rich,” but his definition of “rich” slides a little farther down the economic scale each time he speaks. He’s touted that he’s a harbinger of “change,” but his Cabinet picks are anything but.

And c’mon. Do you really think you can listen to something for 20 years and not have it affect the way you think, feel and act? Do you really think it doesn’t shape who you are? Why do you suppose we are warned not to let children watch violent movies? Because they begin to accept violence as being normal and desirable. President Obama exposed himself and his family to racist hate-mongering for 20 years, and we’re supposed to believe that it’s had no effect on him? Please, don’t insult my intelligence.

Enjoy the first couple of years in your shiny red Cadillac, America. Once you discover it’s a never-ending money pit, it will be time to test drive a Buick.