My husband, Mike, and I were talking about his plans for the day and he mentioned taking our then five-year-old son, Nick, for a ride on the lawn mower. I said, “Great idea! The lawn needs mowing anyway.” He said no, it didn’t, so I couldn’t help but point out that the grass was knee high. Mike explained that you don’t mow the lawn for the first time in the spring until you’ve weeded it first to prevent the weeds from being flung far and wide. Of course, he said, you have to weed it again towards the fall when the weeds begin to return ...
Which got me to thinking.
Our son was born with several challenges that we had been fortunate to have diagnosed early on, and he’d been receiving special education at the local public school since he was two. At that time we were preparing to take Nick out of Pre-K in the public school system and enroll him in a private school for Kindergarten because we didn’t want him influenced by some of the undesirable behavior we saw in some of the children in the local public school. In effect we were planning to “weed” the bad influences from his life early on so he could grow to his greatest potential. And so we transferred him to what we’d been told was a wonderful Christian school.
But it wasn’t.
Within a matter of days, my sweet little boy began to change. He was in trouble at school on a daily basis, which meant he was in more trouble at home, and we had absolutely no idea why he had suddenly become a sullen, angry, mean child. Among his many challenges, he was at that point still mostly non-verbal; so we couldn’t just ask what was wrong and discuss it with him.
The bad behavior progressed exponentially until one day when I happened to linger behind for a few minutes after bringing him to school. What I observed broke my heart. Because of his disabilities, my sweet son had been singled out for ridicule and torment by the other children with the full knowledge and implied consent of the teacher who, when told what I had observed, just shrugged her shoulders, threw up her hands and smiled at me.